May 2012
liam: i'm too cute to exist
louis: i'm too sassy to exist
harry: i'm too slow to exist
niall: i'm too happy to exist
zayn: does anyone actually exist or is it just an illusion
vashappeninstyles:
Harry Styles “fer oohs”
...
April 2012
Teacher: ok everybody take out last night's homework
Me: oh shit did you do that?
Friend: no
Me: aw great me neither
Friend: yeah i just didn't have time, I had my music lesson and work for that other class to do and my electricity went off and my dog died and my mum had a baby and i was in a car crash and the kitchen went on fire
Me:
Me: my favourite fanfic got updated
On a date with Liam
Liam: Hey beautiful, lets go home, I want to show you something
me: Oooh ok *bites lip*
*arrives home*
LIam: Follow me upstairs baby
Me: *follows*
Liam: I'll be right back *stares seductively*
Me: Dont keep me waiting babe
*waits on the bed for Liam to come out*
Liam: Ok Im coming out close your eyes
Me: Im closing them
Liam: *sits down on bed*
Me: *Leans in to Liam with eyes closed*
Liam: OPEN!
Me: *opens eyes*
Liam: Its a flashing tooth brush! I got one for you the other day it's really cool and it lights up and everything. Now we both have matching tooth brushes. Brushing teeth has never been so exciting!
Me:
Liam:
Me:
Liam:
Me:
Liam: *puts the tooth brush in your mouth* Brush Brush Brush your teeth gently around the gums
I need a Horan hug.
zaynmalikfacts:
hugging my screen….
liam payne: ok ok we should do the biggest prank on justin bieber
liam payne: so we're going to film him and make him sneeze
liam payne: and we should refuse to say "bless you"
liam payne: im so excited
liam payne: this is the meanest thing EVER
we buy 1D tickets, merch, books, magazines, Harry...
zaynmalikfacts:
Saw this on twitter lol
Simon Cowell creating One Direction in his lab
Simon: ok for liam lets do some abs and a little adorableness oh shit there goes the whole bottle ok a lot of adoarbleness and a good amount of fucking sexy and he can be that one innocent bastard that never does anything bad oh and add a voice that would be perfect for the beginning of songs wow im good
Simon: now for zayn lets make him drop dead gorgeous so that when you look at him you faint lmfao and how about i add a little bit of sex god so that he can DM whoever the hell he wants of and now give him the charisma of a mix of christina aguilera and joshua from american idol ok now lets make him so deep that he uses his own body as his inspirational journal ok
Simon: and for niall lets just throw a shit load of irish and sexy hips that dont lie with a smile that will make these bitches hearts melt ok now lets give him the voice of an angel but wait he farts too and ill make him have the appetite of a fat man oh and hes the only blondie yeah that will throw em off
Simon: lets make this bitch louis a gay fucker with a sweet little voice but also give him nice eyes that stare into your soul oh and cant forget some hot sex hair ok oh fuck there goes the whole bottle of big penis oh well oh shit there goes 2 more bottle of big penis well ok
Simon: ok harry has to be the partner of gay ass louis because hes the only one left so lets put some cute ass dimples on his face and make him the only one with curly hair lmfao im a genius hes so gAY oh but he secretly has abs and v lines nbd and his voice can sing just about anything because its basically a combination of jesus and jesus
Simon: ok sounds good
